WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A bitchslap is in order.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
