Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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