i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
