Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
