I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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