dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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