Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How's work?
Spinning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
