He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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