Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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