I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
