we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
