Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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