She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we're making bets on your personal life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
