i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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