i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
