pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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