My Higher Power is John Stamos
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
NoShamevember. You game?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Randomize
