I'm drive I can fine osifer
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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