Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
