I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize