Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
