I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
