i think my mom watched the whole time
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
