Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
