Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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