The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
