He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize