You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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