I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize