they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
