my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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