Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
