I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
