Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
