He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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