were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
