I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
