Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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