absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
