You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
