the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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