We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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