whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
