Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
