I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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