How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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