Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
