I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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