Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
