Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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