I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
