Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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