You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
