We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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