just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
