This girl is more easily done than said...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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