I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
