Me too!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
