my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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