More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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