oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
