Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
