Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
