Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
