Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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