you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
