my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm bleeding and have questions
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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