...so i touched it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
