What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
