69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
